I had a big argument with JR last night, I actually feel a little bit better today after getting a few of these feelings off my chest. The bottom line is that he now wants nothing to do with me and never will, this is something I already know and I know deep inside of me that I feel the same. I just have problems with walking away from people that I like. Said that I hurt him with the lies that I told but I honestly didn't tell any but he wont believe me, he is insisting that he his ex wouldn't lie to him so I cant get through to him that she is as he spent his life with her and I was just something to play with. He will never believe me.
I'm going to have a hard time getting over all of this and trusting men again. I've had trust issues with men all of my life but this feels like a massive blow. He knew about my past as we were good friends first and it took me a longtime to let my guard down and he abused that and took advantage of me.
I'm sick to death of going on about it now but it seems to be taking over my life and I'm hating it. I wish I could close my eyes and open them and everything be gone.
Not much else going on in my life at the moment, quite dull actually.
Need some excitement!