I did a bad thing last night - I did a drink and dial. Im so angry with myself.
My motto used to be never drink and dial - well i just have, couldnt help myself.... I poured my heart out to a voicemail service. I poured my heart out. Tears, sobbing, fighting for breath because of the tears choking me up. My heart was breaking to a machine. I have no idea if that person listened to the message, it lasted a while and I hope to god that he got fed up and deleted it before the end. I'm so ashamed of myself because I know it wont solve anything or change anything, he's seeing someone and he's happy so why cant I be? I woke up with a headache and more regrets. I even told him that he is the reason I shave my legs on a daily basis - Just incase he popped around to my house! Stupid stupid me. Im cringing.
Im sure that that person now thinks that iam a nutter which i think that i am - i still have no idea where i got his phone number from as it was deleted from my phone and i dont remember it!!
Why is it such a good idea when we are drunk to give someone you love but they dont love you a call, why when if we weren't drunk we know that it is such a bad idea and keep the feelings inside but let it all hang out when we have been drinking!
Im so ashamed!
xx