I've met someone and it scares me.
My ex smashed my car up recently and we are waiting to go to Crown Court over everything so life's a mess at the minute my twin sister has also just lost her baby so everyone's hurting.
The man I've met is wonderful. I've known him for 3 years since he was at my sisters wedding but never really saw much of him until recently, I couldn't believe my eyes. My heart was pounding so hard! He was drop dead gorgeous. We hit it off straight away. He's fabulous.
But I'm scared. It's all fantastic and he treats me like a princess but I'm not used to it. I'm used to being hurt and abused. I can't get my head around the fact that he thinks I'm great and wants to be with me. Tells my everything that I've ever wanted but I'm holding back because I've got it into my head that it's all going to go wrong but I honestly don't think it will - it all feels so right. Only been together 6 weeks but spend all our time together and it all feels so perfect - too perfect.
I need to break away from my habits of thinking it will all go bad - I need to change the way I am. Let my walls down.
I've started seeing a councillor to help me and I've been diagnosed with a eating disorder but I'm getting help and picking myself back up. I wish I could turn back time and left the abusive relationship but I didn't so I cant keep looking back and hurting. It's time to be positive and enjoy what's happening for me. Steff makes me smile and I feel great with him. But I think I might hurt him one day with me being so closed. I don't want that to happen.
This is my Prince Charming.